This one happens at five in the mornig at Goa-Trance parties. The bassline is massaging your arse and making you want to fart real hard, so you fart away only to realize you have shat your trousers with liquid shit. You decide to take the next train home but are plagued with farts that expell brown liquid during the entire train ride. Once you finally reach your destination you look and smell like a sewage worker and have lost about 20 gallons of liquid shit.

Perfectly cut to fit horizontally across the bowl

You've been seeping farts all day and you finally decide to go to the toilet and snap one off, when you look at what you've done the shit is bubbling slowly in the water. "What the fuck have I been eating?" is a common reaction to the sight of this most perplexing shit.

The really noisy shit that usually happens at the apartment of your first date in forever. You know the splash is going to be unbelievably loud. So you sit with your fingers poised over the flush handle. Just as it starts to drop you hit the flusher. Hoping desperately that the noise and length of the flush will be enough to mask the noise and length of the shit. Often followed by the Second Flush Shit, which happens when you don't get the toilet paper into the bowl in time after wiping off the Well-Timed Shit. And there is no garbage can. Все вечеринки Питера.

SHIT THAT STARTS OUT ALL SMALL AND ENDS UP THE SIZE OF A FUCKIN 3 LITER COKE BOTTLE

The kind of shit that is formed in such a strange way that you find yourself gazing at it, trying to figure out what it looks like. You come to the conclusion that it looks much like one of Gauguin's reclining nudes.

The Squares shits corners rip your bum hole and kills like mad when it comes out. And sometimes your scared to squeeze it because it hurts so much.

The type of shit when you are eating a meal at thanksgiving when you feel a sudden urge to pee. You get up and go to the bathroom and as soon as your pants are down you have a sudden blast of shit. It's that kind of shit is like liquid chocolate, and you fart and crap at the same time. It smells like a diper on a solar panel and everytime you think you're done more comes out. You keep doing this until someone asks if you're allright.

Any shit that leaves the feeling of having been anal probed after it rips out of your ass.

This is the type of shit that gives you a feeling similar to "Phantom Leg Syndrome" wherein a person who's had their leg amputated still has feelings and imaginary pain in the limb even though it's no longer there. Phantom Log Syndrome occurs after pinching an extra large loaf and when you're done you swear you can still feel it inhabiting your colon.

This is where you spray paint a quart onto the side of the bowl and it ends up looking like a Leroy Nieman painting or some other type of modern art.

This is the kind of shit that you have put off for whatever reasons for so damn long that it starts to make you emotional. You almost want to cry after it's all said and done.

The kind that comes out just like the ice cream at the shake shop. In a long, soft continuous log that piles up in the bowl like a warm ice cream sundae.

the type of shit that its is so painful that your ass expands and when its hits the water,water comes flying up your ass just like a grenade. (usually happens after eating solid chocolate

The type of shit only done by one creature.... The Ming Raptor. Usually on a weekend morning after a mixture of strong lager and spirits followed by Kebab. The run up to this creatures Manure is a long period of utterly discusting green clouds of stench that WILL make you sick. When the Raptor finally hears the inevitable rumble, it sprints to the bog and pebble-dashes the pan with a flash, sort of like a nuclear attack would have, leaving a mess that is totally indescribable. After this twice weekly event, the multi-coloured display is snapped using a camera phone and showed off to mates. Правила торгов на Форекс http://all-forex.com/

You're feeling bloated, and you feel like you have to take a dump, and you are certain that your efforts will be rewarded. Unfortunately, all that comes out is a sad little fart.

This is less a type of shit and more a shitting technique. Splashback is that annoying thing we all get were that discusting toilet water splashes your balls and ass when you Shit, the heavier the shit, the worse the affect. There are 2 ways to combat this, try and make your shit so long it hasn't got far to fall and theres the Side Shot Shit, simply sit to 1 side so your bum hole is almost up agianst the seat and drop your load. Be warned this can make a horrible mess of the side of the bowl and maybe even the seat! This is usefull in public loos when you don't want to get rabies from the water!

Your on the PC, watching TV, break dancing or whatever it is your don't want to be disturbed while doing. You then realize you gotta go, thinking to yourself "not now, oh well I can wait" you do or another 15minutes. Then you realize this aint gonna hold in much longer and rush to the bog. You drop your load, wipe your ass, wash your hands, walk into the next room and sit down agian. Then you need to go, reluctantly you do, so you rush back and go through the same process, only this time just as you step out the door you need another shit. So you do your thing up to 8 times before fetching some good reading material and realising your gonna be on the bog for some time.

It's the kind of shit that comes out runny, and has a red/yellow tint to it. On top of that, it burns like hell for a few hours. It usually occurs after a night of rock n' roll fun.

the shit you have been holding in for three days and you cant hold it in no more! YOU NEED A BATHROOM!your about to explode and you start feeling severe cramps in the side of your stomach.you finaly get home from your camping trip and you run to the bathroom as fast as possible.you get in the bathroom and rip off your pants, on your way sitting down your ass just blows apart and a shit the size of a foot ball hits the water, the water sprays your ass, your back, and on your stomach. when you think your done you stand up and look into the toilet.you feel proud to have laid such a shit but your ass is hurting like hell then you go to wash your hands when more shit blows right through your pants all over the wall. you hurry to clean it all up but you blow a third round of shit all over the sink.then you sit down and blow the rest of your shitload. your through and you get up and wipe your filthy, nasty,smelly, putrid, disgusting ass. then you clean the walls. later that night you have farts that hurt like hell. a couple hors later you go to sleep only to be awken by an explosion and a yell. thats the end of your awfull experience.

This is when you are racing to the toilet and before you get there you have a turtle head poking out.

The kind of shit where you strain so hard that your feet lift up off the floor.

This shit smells so bad that it crawls back up your asre to escape the stench.

Corn - See how long it takes to make it through.

This one hurts so much it feels like you've just shat out a small car.

After being in Iraq for a year and eating MRE's (Meal, Ready to Eat) We use Porta-Johns so you have to stand on the toilet seat to release a 5 pound turd because if you dont the BLUE WATER will slash up and turn your ass blue!